CHAPTER EIGHT

The months went by. Soon it was Christmas, in the year 1863. More than two years had passed since Scarlett first met Rhett at the Wilkes' barbecue party. In this time, the South had won many victories in the war. Even though people were becoming poorer, everyone was proud that their men were fighting against the North. No one ever talked about the hard conditions of life. The Southern people wanted revenge against the North, because of the damage done to their lands. Everyone in the South believed that the South could win the war. When they heard that the great General Robert E. Lee was taking his men into the state of Pennsylvania in the North, everyone in Atlanta celebrated happily.

But soon the happy news began to change. There was a terrible battle in Pennsylvania, near the town of Gettysburg. Many, many Southern soldiers were killed. Then there was silence, and no one in the South knew what was happening to their men. People began to pray. On December 5th, the news came that the Southern Army had been defeated in one part of the North. No one knew how the war would end now, and none of the Southerners were saying the Northerners were cowards anymore.

The lists of those who had been killed in the fighting began to arrive. There was one for each state in the South, and Georgia's list was very, very long. One day in early December, Scarlett, Melanie and Aunt Pittypat went to the newspaper office to see this list. The three women did not speak during the ride to the office, and Melanie and Scarlett were pale with fear. They both were terrified that Ashley might be on the list!

There were many people at the office. As people read the lists, many screams and cries of grief came from women whose men had been killed. Scarlett watched as many people she knew lost their husbands or friends. Their lives would never be the same.

When Melanie finally managed to get a list, she and Scarlett looked for Ashley's name in deep fear. Finally Melanie let out a cry. "Oh, Scarlett, he's not on it! Ashley isn't on the list! He's all right!" Both girls were incredibly relieved, and Melanie cried happy tears.

It was only then that Scarlett could really look at all the names of the dead. As she read the list, she wanted to scream and cry. All four of the Tarleton boys—Stuart, Brent and their brothers Boyd and Tom—were on the list. They were dead. "Oh, how unhappy their mother must be!" thought Scarlett. Many other boys she had known were dead—boys who had liked her and been her friends when she was growing up. How could this be? It was all too much! Scarlett wanted to cry, as all the other women were doing. But she could not. She only felt numb. She knew that the happy days of her youth were gone forever. What would happen next?

A few weeks later, Ashley came home for Christmas.

How he had changed! He looked like a man instead of a boy. His face seemed heavy with suffering and unhappiness. Melanie was too happy to be quiet and shy. When Ashley arrived she ran into his arms, sobbing loudly. She did not let go of her husband's arm all evening, and touched him a lot, as if she was trying to make sure he was real.

Scarlett was also happy, but she couldn't act like Melanie. She couldn't kiss or hug Ashley the way she wanted to. But for once, Scarlett wasn't jealous. She was too glad to see him, and know that he was all right. Sadly, Ashley could only stay for four short days. Then, he would have to return to the fighting in Virginia.

During the next four days, Scarlett wished for a look, a touch from Ashley. She wanted to know that he still loved her, and would always love her. But Melanie was always there, her face shining with happiness.

On the night that Ashley was to leave, he was standing in the hall saying goodbye to Scarlett. He had already said goodbye to Melanie in private. For the first time, he and Scarlett were alone.

"Oh, Scarlett," Ashley said sadly, looking at her, "I am happy knowing that there are still girls like you in this world. Women like you are worth fighting for."

"Oh, Ashley," Scarlett cried. She began to sob. She could not believe he was leaving. When would she see him again? She was deeply afraid and worried. "Please, please be careful. I'd die if anything happened to you!"

"Scarlett, look at me," said Ashley gently. "Please promise me something."

"Anything, anything!" said Scarlett.

"Scarlett, I didn't want to tell Melanie or Aunt Pittypat this, but we're losing the war. We're dying, and I feel as if it is the end of the world. The South that you and I grew up in is gone forever. Please, Scarlett, no matter what happens to me, promise me you'll take care of Melanie. I could die in the fighting, and then Melanie would be alone. She's so gentle and weak, and Scarlett, you're so strong."

Scarlett didn't know what to say. She had hoped Ashley would tell her he loved her, or kiss her. She didn't feel "strong." But when she looked into his eyes, she had to say, "Yes ... I promise." She felt as if she would do anything for Ashley—even look after his wife.

The carriage was waiting for Ashley. He was about to leave when suddenly Scarlett ran to him. "Ashley, please, please ... I feel like I'm dying too! Please kiss me. Just once."

"Oh, Scarlett," Ashley said, and touched his lips to hers.

Scarlett cried. "Ashley, I'll do anything for you, even ... say you love me! I ... I only married Charlie to hurt you. I still love you, Ashley. Just tell me once and I'll live on it for the rest of my life!

Ashley was shaking, and his voice was hoarse. He had the unhappiest face she had ever seen. "I can't, Scarlett. Goodbye."

And then he opened the door of the house and left her alone.

(end of section)